I had an epiphany.
As I go about my weight loss journey, I’ve noticed that I spend a lot of time in my head calculating when I will be at my ideal weight. I think things like, “If I lost x number of pounds per week, how many months will it take to get to my ideal weight?”
I can’t be alone in this. There must be other people out there reading this who do the same thing!
Thinking about it further, I realize that, okay… partly this tendency comes from my Type A control freak personality (I usually try to control everything), but another big part of it comes from a deeply ingrained dieting mentality. In the past, I would start a diet that was severely restrictive and unsustainable and in the back of my mind I would assume that once I got to my goal weight I could go back to eating the way that I wanted to eat. The way that I was comfortable eating – the way that had kept me fat for many years.
As I was hiking it occurred to me that, thanks to the Law of Attraction and this practice of Writing Your Next Chapter, I have manifested for myself a way of eating that is grounded and based on not just the desire for a healthy BMI and a lean, sexy body, but also the desire for overall health and wellness. I’m talking about long-term health and wellness. To me, that means a life free of cancer and diabetes and other illnesses that plague many Americans.
I also had adopted a way of eating that aligns with my morals and values and my desire to be, as my dad would say, “part of the solution rather than part of the problem” for our environment and for our planet.
So it’s not about being “on” or “off” this way of eating. It’s not about a “diet” in the sense of dieting to lose weight; this is kind of just the way I eat.
Exercising with the Law of Attraction
It turns out that, thanks to the Law of Attraction, my exercise habits came about in pretty much the same way. I look forward to my Saturday hike, as hard as it is, and it is hard – it’s 90 minutes of intense, sweaty, muscle-achy hiking. Soul Cycle with Devon twice a week is also hard, but I look forward to that time with her. Even the time I spend in the gym and the newly-added self-defense boxing classes that Devon and I are going to take at least one day a week seem fun to me. These classes are so that I can shed some of my irrational fears of being attacked (I think over the years I have held on to weight in an attempt to assuage attack).
So the exercise is now just kind of part of my life. And eating this way… this is just how I eat. Now that I think of it, I’ve always read in magazines things like, “you just have to make it a lifestyle. You have to do activities that you like!” In theory that seems really easy but those things are sometimes harder to put into practice when you’re coming from a diet mentality and all you really want to do is just get the weight off.
I realize now that I can let it go and allow it to manifest. I can trust that I am going to get there whenever I get there. That I’m just going to gradually get smaller and smaller and smaller because this is just the way I eat now, and this is just how active I am now and my activity level will probably increase more and more and more. And as my body gets smaller and I get stronger and leaner and fitter, I’ll be more excited to do even more activity because it won’t be difficult.
For the first time, I can imagine letting go of the number on the scale. Like, just getting on once a week or once a month and approaching it with the mentality of, “Oh, gee, I wonder what it’s going to say this time.” That’s a big shift from dread-infused thoughts like, “Oh, gosh, I hope it says something good…”
This way of thinking, living and eating is pretty new for me. I apologize to those of you out there who don’t have disordered thinking around food and body who are reading these words thinking, “well, duh!” Who effortlessly maintain a healthy BMI because you’ve lived this way your entire life.
For the rest of us – for those who have been on the diet roller coaster of self-loathing and shame and dieting to get down to an “acceptable” weight – this is groundbreaking. It is as miraculous to me as going from being an active alcoholic to someone who doesn’t drink. It is as amazing to me as going from someone who didn’t have children to someone who does.
My whole perception has transformed and that’s what is amazing to me about the Law of Attraction. I didn’t even know what I was asking for. I didn’t even know what was possible, but here it is: a bigger dream, a more glorious manifestation of the dream than I could have ever imagined.
So I say to you again: when things don’t work out the way you want them to, know, trust and believe that it’s because the plan that the Universe has for you is infinitely better.